after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
