i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
