I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
