I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
