I just pynch a tree in the face
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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