Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
