whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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