My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
