Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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