Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
