Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
