we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
this just has baby written all over it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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