DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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