She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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