When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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