He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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