it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
