i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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