question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
