You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
