Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
