operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
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It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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