Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize