Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way

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(217): View more from Illinois

I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story

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(512): View more from Texas

i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.

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(303): View more from Colorado

He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.

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