I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
