Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and she was petting her beer can
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
