She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
