They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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