I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
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He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize