I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
