I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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