your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
