I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize