I'm drive I can fine osifer
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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