Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
