he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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