worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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