I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
