this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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