So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
