her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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