Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
