Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
