i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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