the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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