I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
