dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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