She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
