I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
