How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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