omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
