Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
