it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
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I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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