Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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