I want to walk on stilts...naked
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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